it’s been over a week

since my cat died. I tried to get on with my life, but in so many ways I recognized that mourning for him took over my free mind, my social consciousness, my connection to my wife, my celebration of our wedding anniversary. When I prepared to speak on Sunday at a church north of town, I could see the words I wrote on the page, but I was not connected to them. I think that is why I put it off so long, until Saturday, hoping that I would connect. Speaking was OK, and I think it helped me reintegrate, but it didn’t seem natural at first.

I saw my wedding anniversary coming all week long, but I just didn’t do anything about it. It was too distant from my self. All you married boys know how big a problem it is for us if we don’t remember our anniversary. Well, I watched it coming all week long like a drugged person placed on the railroad tracks waiting for the train.

Why is it that a cat commanded such complete connection with me that losing him would disconnect me from my world? I don’t know, but I suspect that it has something to do with euthanizing him instead of just waiting for him to die. I think it took something out of me to do it. I am usually opposed to taking life of any kind, and this has really wrenched me from my self.

To my wife, I am sorry for being such a klutz. I am not using the cat as an excuse for neglecting us, it is just that I have been broken from my normal self by this event.

3 thoughts on “it’s been over a week”

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your loss and subsequent feeling of disconnection. I hope it has abated since.

  2. I am better. I rose from my funk to produce a substantial contribution to my dissertation on Monday 5 Oct. That day didn’t feel any different until I started writing. Thanks for your sympathy. None of us are really over it, the other cats too.

  3. our cat Purry died – over a year ago now. I wept like a, well, like a grieving man. One of the memories connected with that cat was how he used to terrorize Joshua when he was a very small boy. Josh started walking when he was nine months old, so by the time he was 12 or 18 months he was pretty stable. He was going up and down the steps easily while he was still pretty small. That cat used to meet him on the steps as he was coming down from upstairs, stand up on his back legs, put his front paws ( we had him de-clawed ) around Josh’s head, and bite Josh’s nose ( yet never breaking the skin, just pricking it ). Josh would just stand there and quietly wimper, not sure how to extract himself. When they were both older- well you could take this cat and roll him around and hang him fro his back feet like a piece of limp spagetti- he was a really friendly cat, and he would curl up next to you while you slept, and wake you up with really loud purring and nuzzling.

    I think so many memories are attached to these animals. I considered this cat a friend.

    It was really good to hear from you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *